IV

Now that I’ve reached thirty, it would seem as though my thoughts are much too, much too dirty
for that of the mind of a child and far too, far too wild,
while I sit here typing away wondering aloud as to what thoughts to them what will they,
what will they say about the one who’s refused to grow up past the age of a child and is much too, much too wild.

In the name of everything that is holy…hot damn…what a night. I uh, I must’ve blacked out again. My rooms are completely reorganized, I have 24 unread messages who from after some slight research I’ve discovered are ladies of the night, and my manscaping is even tighter than your mother’s pussy : ) Anywho, how are you, friend? Looking good, looking good.

I need to process last night a bit more. Shit, man. What the hell happened??? I should purchase one of those home security systems. Not because I suspect that I’ll ever be robbed. I’ve got my guitars for that sort of shit. No. This would be so I could watch back my actions whilst under the influence of whatever substance was the flavor of the week. It’s much like spinning the wheel on Wheel of Fortune, only you’re tasked with doing whatever drug mentioned and whatever amount you roll with the dice I stole from my son’s board game. For some, you might just make it through the night. If you’re like me and are skilled at Wheel of Fortune, well you’ll be in for a rough day or two. Buckle up, friend. It’s going to be one hell of a ride. Now, back to retracing my steps last evening. The last thing I remember is getting into an argument with the strange-looking guy in the corner of my room. He kept on threatening me with his survival knife and yelling obscenities in a manner in which I’d never heard before. Bastard never even introduced himself. Funny though, I don’t remember letting anybody in…???